michelangelo once said that every block of stone has a statue inside it and it’s the sculptor’s job to set it free.
in psychology, there’s a concept named after that idea. it’s called the michelangelo effect. when someone sees a version of you that feels more true, more fully formed, and helps you move toward it. they don’t necessarily build something new out of you. they just remove what’s in the way. they help you become what was already there, just not fully visible yet.
i’ve been thinking about this in the context of the people we surround ourselves with. because who you’re around shapes everything, especially in your most formative years. your pace. your confidence. your sense of what’s worth paying attention to.
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some people are mirrors. they reflect back what’s already working in you. they help you recognize patterns, articulate your values, feel grounded. others are catalysts. they show you what you might be. they speak with a kind of clarity that makes you sit up straighter. they nudge you into faster rooms and bigger ideas in an almost instinctive way. just by how they move.
i’ve experienced both. the mirror who reminds me what matters when i feel unclear vs. the catalyst who believes in and actualizes my ideas before i do.
funny enough, growing up in the bay area i only ever experienced the mirror, not the catalyst. people reflected strengths i already had. they encouraged what i was already doing. i felt supported, but never stretched. perhaps it was the hyper-competitive nature of the environment where everyone was so focused on getting ahead that no one wanted to give too much. being a catalyst required generosity, and most of us were caught up in proving ourselves to offer that kind of belief.
one of the first spaces where i felt that catalytic energy was at northeastern, during my first year back from a semester abroad. i joined the entrepreneurs club to co-direct our startup incubator. i didn’t know exactly what i was doing yet, but i was working closely with someone who seemed like she did. she moved fast, asked better questions, and pulled me into communities i wouldn’t have found on my own. she didn’t spell anything out. she just acted like i already belonged in the rooms she was in. like i was someone with ideas worth building. that kind of energy does something to you. it makes you look at your own potential differently.
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one of these was rev, a community of student builders, founders, and creatives. what struck me was how people moved. rev is full of people who follow their curiosity wherever it leads. they chase niche ideas without needing to over-explain them. of course every project didn’t resonate with me directly, but it didn’t matter. what mattered was the posture. people in that room took their own ideas seriously, and that seriousness was contagious.
being around that energy shifted something. i started to see that originality often comes from specificity. the best projects usually start from something oddly personal. something that would’ve felt too small or too weird in another setting. rev taught me that your instincts don’t have to be justified to be valid. they just have to be followed.
and once you’re in a space where people are shipping fast and constantly tinkering with ideas, doing it all before they feel ready, your own pace starts to change. creative pace, i’ve realized, isn’t just a personal trait. it’s environmental. when everyone around you is in motion, it lowers the barrier to starting. you stop waiting for things to be perfect. you just begin. and that beginning builds momentum.
coming home between semesters, i’ve started to notice it more clearly. the difference between a mirror and a catalyst. i used to confuse support with expansion, but now i can tell when someone is helping me feel grounded versus helping me stretch. both matter. and now, i try to surround myself with people who offer a mix. the ones who reflect what’s already working and the ones who push me into motion. it’s easier to build when you have both.
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the most meaningful moments of growth haven’t come from dramatic reinvention. they’ve come from someone saying, “you should apply to this,” or “this reminds me of something you’d make.” little things. but when it shows up early, before you’ve proven anything, it changes how you move.
i try to notice who brings that energy into my life. who reflects something true back to me. who moves in a way that makes me want to move too. and i try to offer that in return.
sometimes belief looks like forwarding a link. sometimes it’s showing up to workshop someone’s idea. sometimes it’s naming a strength they don’t see yet. belief just needs to show up at the right moment and compound forward from there.
because most of the time, we’re not carving ourselves into something new. we’re just chipping away at what’s already there.
and sometimes, all it takes is a catalytic person to say…
i see it.
keep going.
- manvi :)